So, I watched a lot of football today.  A LOT of  football.  Now, while it was not a good day for football, it was an excellent day for insobriety.  While in my transcendental state, I had an idea.  Bear with me here.

Have you ever actually listened to what the announcers have to say during a football game?  While drunk?  Well today I did, and it occured to me: “What are the wives of the players thinking about what the annoucers say?”  Probably something dirty.  To illustrate my point:

Example the first
Announcer: “That was some of the best play action I’ve seen in a long time.”
Wives: “You weren’t around last night!”

Example the second
A: “What a huge drive for the Raiders.”
W: “That’s not all that’s huge!”  -Suggestive winking-

Example the third
A: “They just can’t keep their hands on it today!  What is with these greased palms?”
W: -Silence-

Example the fourth (true)
A: “Look at his plays today.  He seems a little tight. No wait, that’s not the right word at all.  Intent.”
W: “You have no idea…”

You get the jist.  I would have a field day with these comments.  Wait a minute, I did have a field day with them.  Mission completed.

-Captain “Put it in the EndZone” Nobeard