A friend of mine recently posted a Facebook note saying he learned about dental dams via “sex with mom and dad.” I responded, “Please tell me that’s just a poorly-named educational video.” Turns out, it’s an MTV show that I have simply never heard of. This scenario has tragically played out multiple times for me recently- there will be a new commercial or show that people are obsessed with and I’m like some sort of weird 19th century observer to their rapture.
Me: “Sex with Mom and Dad,” eh? Sounds revolting.
Errrybody else: It’s fucking great. Go ride your giant-wheeled unicycle you uncultured tard.
Me: <Doffs cap> Well! You can have your damned “telo-vision!” I’ll just take my Sears brand heroin and be done with it all!
When I was very young my parents had cable, then the money machine (as I referred to ATMs at the time) stopped working and they got rid of it. I didn’t have it through college, but just two (three?) spoiled ass years in San Diego and now I feel like a starving Malay orphan without one. It was a sad day when Alex took our Time Warner box to the farm to live with its new owners. My hairstylist (don’t I sound like a biyatch) has to keep me updated about “Intervention,” a former favorite of mine. Just today she tried to explain to me about the anorexic twins that had to take the same number of steps each day so they would burn exactly the same number of calories. Shows lose so much of their trashy magic when explained as opposed to seen, however, and I still miss them sometimes…
I’ve had to find other things to do with myself as I try to leave this section of the wonderful world of entertainment behind. I started this bunkenstein blog (and never update it), picked up a Kuk Sool class (and get my ass beat), and play WoW with my loserest friends (just kidding lol L4G RFD). I need more stuff to do, though, because I still find myself watching “Maury” sometimes on my days off.
Baby steps… baby steps…